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Susan Brush wrote this blog post for the PGR StrathLife page, and has agreed to share it here! Read the beginning of her story here, and then head to https://www.pgrstrathlife.com/post/starting-a-phd-as-a-mature-student-is-it-daft to read the rest! I fell into doing a PhD as part of a career change, when a sector I’d previously worked in had severe downsizing. As a first step, I did a Masters in Renewable Energy Systems and the Environment. Looking at options for “where to go next”, I saw doing a PhD in Smart Grids and Future Power Systems as a way of continuing my interest in how people in Scotland, UK and the world can address huge questions regarding our energy use, in the face of “game-changing” climate change goals and technological advances. Nothing short of a transformation in the way we source, distribute and use energy will be enough, and there are so many outstanding questions about “how best to do it” and “how to get it to work”, which continue to challenge academics, decision-makers and many others. It is the most exciting field anybody could be working in right now!
It is decades since I did my Bachelors’ degree. (And that was in a very different discipline.) I have kids in primary school. Even with a supportive husband, my evenings and weekends are largely occupied with taking the kids to their various activities. And I’ve had a very long time for my maths to go off the boil. I enrolled in a Centre for Doctoral Training (a “CDT”) which takes annual cohorts of students: in our year there were ten of us. We all did a taught year at Masters’ level, before commencing our research. For me, though the taught year was busy, challenging, and at times gruelling, we made strong friendships with our colleagues, contacts with others in our programme, and it gave us a solid introduction to our department and many of the teaching and supervisory staff. During this taught year, in group projects, I found that my skill set did actually complement those of my younger colleagues surprisingly well. Sure, some of them were way ahead of me in some of the taught material (especially those with an MEng on the topic!) and were faster at picking up some concepts, or to master the use of new technical models or programmes. But my years in different workplaces during previous careers have given me a broader view of the world, an ability to see other related matters, to use experience gained in different sectors, and to understand that every field has its own language and customs. Not to mention experience of planning and simply grinding through work. Maybe it’s easier to have a longer term view with more years behind you. Along the way, my younger colleagues patiently helped me get sorted with some of my IT and set up problems! And they keep me right on “what everyone uses these days….” It is actually a joy having colleagues half one’s age. ... to read the full post, click below! Starting a PhD in a pandemic is not how I imagined this first year to begin. I was hoping to start work in the TIC, get a chance to meet other postgraduates, and start going to conferences, but Covid had other plans! Working from home has many advantages and I have been enjoying being able to sit in my pyjama bottoms on the sofa whilst working on my project, but this has its own downsides, maintaining motivation might become difficult.
One of my favourite parts of university was coming in to see my friends, having different meetings, seeing group project partners, and so I’m really missing that aspect of university life. Zooms have been providing some social interaction, but the lag time and unnatural situation can stilt conversation and emphasise this unnormal situation that we are in. Having an online discussion with a large group of people you don’t actually know is a very daunting prospect and the awkward silence of a zoom call when everyone is waiting for everyone else to speak is a disheartening experience compared to the idea of coming into the department and working with students in person. However, as I’ve had more and more contact with the other PhD students in my department, I have begun to enjoy any chats we have had and it’s increasing my excitement at meeting everyone in person. I was apprehensive about joining the Strathclyde women in engineering call, but I have really enjoyed the few meetings I have been to. At a time when it is very easy to be unsure of yourself and feel confused about your studies, it’s more important than ever to have a secure group of women to discuss the difficulties of being a woman in engineering and the issues we face that can often be ignored by the industry. I hope as much as anyone that life returns to normal soon, and we can all move on with work and studies and become social again. Until then, I’ll continue to take advantage of as many group chats and calls as possible! Ever since I decided to study physics (around age 15), I have been made to reconsider my belonging in science, people sometimes straight up questioning my choice or by making apparently neutral or even well-meaning claims. “Oh, physics and engineering are packed with boys!”, “You must be really clever, the math is hard!”, or even “how come you do not want to study medicine? Or nursing?” when I had never expressed the wish to do so whatsoever. Who even came up with the idea that there are some sciences suitable for women and others that are not? Consciously or not, we constantly tell girls that science is not the right path for them. Somehow, in the current year of 2020, there are still people (mainly old men) arguing that “biologically”, “genetically” even (!), girls are just simply not cut to do the science. That men are unable to work by our sides because we are distracting and not helpful. This has a lot to do with the stereotypes still surrounding scientists nowadays; think of The Big Bang Theory’s characters: nerdy men, absorbed by their work, for whom science is their topmost priority, awkward around people. And they are unapologetically so. But for women the requirements are different, you are supposed to be charming, caring, generous and attentive to the people around you. How do we reconcile these expectations? The answer is not easy, and the road ahead is not a bed of roses. We need to dismantle the patriarchal edifice that took so many years to set up, let us crush what women are supposed to be or not to be! First, we start by showing girls the women that have made it before us. No disrespect to Marie Curie, but enough with her being our only example of women in science. She is proof that you need to be awarded not one but TWO Nobel prices in order to be considered worthy of studying. We need to talk about Hedy Lamarr, Rosalind Franklin, Ada Lovelace, Emmy Noether, Vera Rubin, Lise Meitner and all the names not nearly that well-known that we have found about with time. Image credit Randall Munroe https://xkcd.com/896/ Then, we need to show up for each other, we need not to compete but to ally, and fight, and help one another. It is paramount that we speak up, that we cease to be silent when our work is stolen and our ideas dismissed. And we need to work hard; harder than our male counterparts probably, because that is just how things are right now. But they will not always be. We have to do it for our mothers, for our grandmothers, for the generations of women before us that were not privileged enough to access university or laboratories, even under a fake name or without a salary. But most importantly we need to do it for our daughters and the women of tomorrow. It is exhausting, self-sacrificing, demoralizing; but it is also fundamental for things to keep changing and improving. Every once and again, we need to look back and relish how far we have come, and then get momentum and look forward to what is ahead! I joined Women in Engineering hoping to be just a bit of that, and I wish this venture to be a source of support for all of us that need it. |
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